I know this blog is about Astrology and my journey with it, but I want to write something a little different. The main transit happening in my chart at the moment is Uranus Square Uranus, which harks back to around the age of 39 (for me) and before that about 20. During these times it is very much a breaking away from the past, and the way it happens is by making you hanker for past times, even trying to get back there but failing miserably because this is now and that was then.
That is the last I am going to mention about current astrology, now I would like to relay what has been happening to me that very much fits in with the above scenario.
As you may have seen from previous blog posts, Beltane, a turning point and the Second Uranus Square. I am on a Pagan path which I have been following since about the age of 35, Pluto was trining my Sun at the time and I was discovering a whole new me.
That was over 25 years ago now and although I have never felt the path abandon me or that I wasn’t a Pagan as some of my spiritual colleagues have felt from time to time, life has taken over and the practice has rather taken a back seat. The animal symbol of my Pagan identity, totem, power animal, familiar, whatever you want to call it, has always been the spider.
Don’t get me wrong, I have never wanted one as a pet, neither have I deeply studied their natural history. However, they have always fascinated me and unlike a lot of people I have encountered they have never frightened or disgusted me. I think they are beautiful, mesmerising creatures that have something to teach us about endurance and creativity.
As mentioned in a previous post, Lammas, New Moon and a Liminal Moment I have been trying to reconnect to my path and it has become apparent that I am out of practice and the need is great, but I also recognise the ‘that was then and this is now’ quandary. I want to get back what I had but it isn’t working that way
Starting to meditate one evening I decided to change the usual sitting position that I have adopted to one more upright, the meditation and visions were very powerful and of course featured a spider. As in most meditations of this nature, there were messages and one was that I was to get a spider charm, there was one waiting for me and it was to be used in a particular way. I came out of the meditation and a little later, when I looked into one of the little bowls we have on our alter and there was a tiny spider on a web. It was there for a couple of days before it disappeared.
Spiders are very prominent now, yes I know they are mating so more visible and the dew in the Autumn mornings shows up their webs more, but to me it’s a nod to the fact that I am walking the path more consciously again.
It won’t ever be the same as when I first discovered it, that was like a first love, or the significant steps along the path, my first magical ritual, the moment I discovered that I was in tune with the wheel of the year and other moments of discovery.
I am beginning to flex my magical muscles again and I think the feeling will be like meeting old friends after a long absence and seeing where we all are now but you never know with Uranus or Spider.
As an addition to the above, as I am writing this several days later, my partner and I were shopping in town at the weekend so I took the chance to look for this charm, it was getting near Halloween so there must be something about. I looked in all the usual places, little arty new age type shops, then into proper jewellers. We were trudging about but nothing and I was getting really frustrated. My partner said that perhaps it’s for another day and I said very loudly, that ‘…..They had said they were going to direct me, but nothing!!!!!’ Then I looked where I had stopped which was just outside a little fashion boutique that sold jewellery. I thought, let’s try in here expecting the same old ‘Nooo we have nothing like that’. I asked if she had a spider charm and was offered a fly. I declined saying, ‘this is very specific’ so she had a look on her online stock. ‘Oh, hang on, I am not promising anything’ she said as she went into her stock room and came out with a tray of charms. And there is was, exactly the one I had been shown, right down to little tiny black and white crystals on its abdomen. Not only that it was end of line and half price !!!!