So it’s Lammastide, in Paganism, this is the time of the first fruits harvest. In my old group we used to do the ritual of cutting down John Barleycorn or the Corn King, just to remind us that from death comes life and from life comes death and this is the cycle that we all step onto.
Recently I have been feeling stressed, stressed with work, thinking I made a wrong move as the changes that are happening are confusing and relentless at the moment. The promise is that when they are all in place it will be better and more efficient; however there is no light at the end of the tunnel at the moment.
On top of that my children are going through their own stresses and strains that they don’t deserve, like the world is getting at them. You know the type of thing, just when they think they have got what they need something else comes along to pull the rug out from underneath them.
Recently I have felt a need to make a conscious reconnection to my path although I have never really left it since I first stepped on it, so I have been taking time every evening to sit in our sacred space, do some meditation, study the tarot more and talk to the Old Ones. Mostly it has been either anger or pleading that has been included in most of the conversations. ‘ Make this happen, why did you let that happen and I know it is probably for the best but can’t we all have just a little relief and the knowledge that this struggle is worth it??? Just a bit???’
I light candles, sometimes incense, put on the little indoor water feature and try to relax. It has been getting easier to chill out and spend time listening to the water and the traffic outside. However, I couldn’t feel the connection, not like it used to be. I tried to convince myself that it is there but because it’s familiar it doesn’t resonate in the same way, etc, etc,
Now let me tell you how I feel the change of the seasons. It usually happens at the nearest New Moon, you feel a change in the heat from the Sun, the wind, you smell different fragrances in the air. The quality of the light changes, it’s subtle but it’s there. The first time I felt it was a couple of days before the recognised date of Imbolc, 2nd February around 1992. I was walking up the road and I felt the warmth of the Sun on my back and recognised that it was Spring.
I realise that this recognition has little to do with the seasonal shift in temperature etc., much more to do with the Earth in relation to the Sun. At the moment we are moving away from the Sun, beginning to tilt away from it, thus the light changes, and even though there is still warmth around there is a chill , especially as the Sun starts to go down.
Last Saturday, about 3 days after the dark Moon, myself and my partner went to the local park to watch the Sunset, he likes to take photographs of stuff like that and I went along because there was not a lot on TV and I needed a breath of fresh air. The Sun went down, mainly behind a cloud in the west, but because there were other clouds in the sky, it began to reflect yellow, then orange then a dark crimson on the thicker clouds.
At that moment I saw the New Moon and suddenly smelt autumn on the breeze. The day had been really warm and still, but there was a chill in the air and I was at that liminal moment of time between times and for a fleeting moment I was connected to a sort of underground stream of magic that flows between time and space. I hadn’t felt that for a long time. It took my breath away and it took me by surprise.
After some time we decided to go back and took a slow walk along the path. As we were walking back we noticed the sky between the trees and Rick decided that there was another photo opportunity there. He took a few shots then asked me to sit on a sculpture that was made from a tree trunk, there were quite a few chainsaw sculptures in the park where old, diseased trees had been cut down.
As I sat down a bat flew by my ear, something that would unnerve some people but I saw that as a symbol of changes to come. A form of initiation which of course the whole evening was.
Since that evening things are settling down, I am feeling better at work, things are looking more positive for my sons and I am able to disassociate from all the stresses and strains of the world for a while. There have been articles that I have read that give me new information, inspire me to think in different ways and explore the World with a new perception, I think I am beginning to see a chink of light and it feels good
As this is an Astrology journal it would be remiss of me not to mention any astrological activity in my chart at this point. I have looked and could find nothing significant, nothing that I would say that at that point it was astrology doing the talking. There is nice long term stuff happening, more difficult longer term transits but nothing to indicate a spiritual awakening. But that’s OK because sometimes it doesn’t always have to be explained by the astrology of the moment.
I am in the middle of my second Uranus squaring its own position transit, and what I am coming to realise is that while it Old Uranus is much to do with revolutionary change, he is also about hankering for past times and wanting to recapture it. During these transits we have to find out what is still relevant and work on it, making it pertinent for the new phase that we are coming into.
I think that is what is happening now, the urge to re-establish my spiritual path, but to find the best way to make it Now and For Me At This Point In My Life.
I’m working on it