Beltane is the time of year when, as a Pagan, I look to celebrating the Great Gateway to Summer. It is always a positive time, heralding a time of fertility, fruitfulness and creativity.
To this end I have been meeting people of like minds, walking labyrinths, doing talks about my spiritual path and generally reconnecting after what has seemed an interminably long Winter and the feeling that Spring had been missed out altogether.
On Saturday, we were walking towards a celebration, only for sleet and hail to be rained down upon us whilst the Sun was still shining brightly. The last time this happened to me was in the middle of a handfasting, a Pagan Wedding celebration, at the Rollright Stones. I saw this as a blessing, the four elements joining us in our celebration and this happened intermittently over the rest of the day. OK we got rained on and the weather wasn’t a clement as some people would have hoped for, but as Pagans, we not only took it in our stride but we welcomed it as a signal that Nature was joining us.
It has also been a major turning point for me this year. Recently I have had a more positive feeling about the year ahead and that whatever I was trying to put into place last year will come to fruition this year.
However, I have been aware that although I walk my path 24/7, I have also been taking it a little for granted and I need to become more aware and allow myself the time and effort to discover it anew. To this end I made a point of sitting in our Temple Room, with incense and candles, no full ritual, just making my acquaintance with the Divine again, something I haven’t done for quite a while. I asked for a couple of things, I thanked them for some other things and then I just sat.
I had remembered a conversation I had with a good friend who told me about an encounter he had had some time before with someone who would obviously be diagnosed with ‘learning difficulties’ in this day and age. My friend told me that this person was a sort of guru to him because in his simplicity he came out with some very profound statements. My friend was talking about Christianity, the Prophets and how they are not about these days because God doesn’t seem to pass on the messages. ‘Oh but He does’ said the ‘Guru’ …’People pray, but it’s just that they don’t take the time to listen any more’
I recognised that I had not been listening either, I would put out my petition and just hope something would happen favourably. Sometimes it did, most of the time it didn’t and so I just shrugged it off and did what I always did in this situation, carried on with what I did have.
Last night I asked and took the time and space to listen. Why wasn’t this happening as I had requested. Thank you for what had been successful but there are other things that are not quite making it. Then I waited in silence.
I have a large picture that a friend had painted for me, many years ago, of my Goddess and during the meditation session I felt the need to open my eyes. I know it was an optical illusion, the candle light with the incense burning, but it looked as if she was emerging from the picture and her mouth was moving.
I closed my eyes again and the words came flooding into my head………
Firstly, things have been moving in the proper direction but patience is needed, space has to be made and we also needed your energy input, which happened today. Secondly, what exactly do you want, look again at what you have been asking for and be honest whether this is really what you want or is it just something you think you have to do. Be honest about your reasons and ask yourself why have you been distracted?.
I have had no motivation to do what I had decided on when I took redundancy, I have been distracted by what has been happening to others around me. I have had no stomach to do what I needed to do. I thought I was being lazy, especially when I was asked by someone a few days ago, ‘When are you going to start promoting your business?’ The excuse was ‘Well Mum has been taking up so much of my time, working full time, I can’t seem to find a part time job, etc. etc………’
Finally, at the end of the meditation session, I picked up a bag next to me wondering what was in it. I put my hand in and pulled out 3 pieces of stone. I wasn’t aware until then what was in the bag, but it was half full of different stones and crystals which I used to sell and this was a bag of small pieces that I used to sell for 5p to the children who came to my stall, or even give them away.
The 3 pieces were all the same, which was extraordinary in such a mix. They were Peacock Ore or Bornite which was a stone that was the very first type that I was drawn to at the beginning of my Pagan journey. I felt I had come full circle. I no longer believe in the healing qualities of crystals, but I do feel their place is on a symbolic or metaphysical level. Therefore there is a message for me in this.
I had to make a decision about the direction I actually wanted to go in. I so miss doing Astrology readings and I love the way I used to do them. I was good at that, I got results. To this end I have decided to change what I offer and how, making it simpler and more accessible, details on this will be posted as soon as I have worked them all out.
Anyway, this is an Astrology Blog and so I need to look at what is happening in my chart in this instance and if it is pertinent, which looking at it, it certainly is!
Firstly, today I have my own personal New Moon, where the Moon is in the same place as my Sun. Yes, this happens every month, but this is my BELTANE New Moon.
I am at the end of a cycle where Uranus was sextiling my Mercury, challenging my way of thinking and making me uneasy about the decisions I was making. Uranus makes changes whether you like it or not. Most importantly, I am coming up to my second Uranus Square to its own position. This, along with the second Saturn return is a transit that heralds reconfiguration of life towards maturity and old age, what is commonly known as ‘the Third Age’. At this point I have to come to terms with who I am now, not who I was or what I want to be. I am still working towards making part of my living as an Astrologer because it is how I have defined myself for most of my life, for the past 40 years.
So I can see where it’s going, where I want it to be, but not how it will pan out. There is too much uncertainty about these transits at the moment so my plan is to put my energy and wishes out there and trust that what will be will be.
This is the gift of maturity, the acceptance of uncertainty as a new adventure.