Another month has passed and still no blog post, so I am going to try and get going again.
Loads have things have happened over the intervening weeks, a new government, the earthquake in Nepal, Boat people, the shenanigans of FIFA and very recently hearing about Leicester City academy players who were stupid enough to video themselves whilst engaging in sex with Thai women but also verbally, racially insulting and abusing them. Even more stupidly they decided to send said video to their mates, one of whom sent it on to the Sunday mirror. Pillocks or what????
I have to admit that I haven’t had the time to look at any of these things astrologically but the dates are duly noted and I hope to get something written over the next few weeks.
On a personal level, Uranus has been hanging around my Jupiter and Mercury and it has been a bit of a learning curve I can say. Whilst I would love to break out, what with the end of my job looming in the next few weeks and I am keen to get moving on my new journey, my Mother, who has been such a support to me and my siblings over the years is slipping away from us with dementia.
Not only am I the eldest, I also live closest to her and so a lot of the organisation for her care falls to me. It doesn’t matter how much I complain about this, my brother is self-employed with a growing family and my sister is single and works on a casual basis, so when they get work they need to do it. When I finish work I know that I will be first on call and it matters little how many boundaries I try to set, although I will try to stick with some of them, I know I will not be able to refuse ultimately. My only hope is that there will be enough time and energy left to kick start my business.
However, there is a plus side. Through the sadness of seeing my Mum losing her ability to communicate her thoughts clearly (although not the ability to chat about things, over and over again), seeing her frail and lacking in confidence, I have come to treasure the times I spend with her when she is genuinely excited and happy. The times we can share a meal and she talks again about how she was asked by my Aunt to ask her Dad if she could marry my Uncle, or the time when she was chatting to someone on her first day of work only to find out he was her boss. It endeared her to him and I still have the silver spoon with my name engraved that he gave me when I was born.
I took her to the cinema for the first time in years to see a Royal Night Out and we ate ice cream out of a little tub with a plastic spoon. It was wonderful to see her to reminisce for ages about VE night, even though she didn’t realise that the ‘Girls’ in the film were supposed to be the Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret. She chatted to strangers about it whilst waiting for the doors to open and afterwards, which is something she hasn’t had the chance to do for ages.
Every now and again I catch her singing away to a song on the TV that she remembers, neither in tune or in time, but she is singing and remembering, so I have decided to take her to a Memory Café in the area that does ‘Singing for memories’ and I am genuinely excited about that.
My decision not to take things personally, to try not to get angry with her presumed lack of appreciation, to try not make assumptions about what she means and to read between the lines of the things she is saying, has had the effect of making me live in the moment with her. I don’t know how much time she has left. Apart from the dementia and frailty of age, she has no life threatening condition at the moment but she is tired of it all and lonely without my Dad and may just give up. We are determined that she will spend the rest of her life in her own home and that her final months or years will be filled with little moments of happiness.
Dementia in one so precious makes us look for, appreciate and even try to create the moments of light and merriment in what could otherwise be a dark time.